Teaching children to recognize healthy relationship signals and notice when something is wrong is a crucial skill that parents can pass down through open and intentional conversations. Empowering our children with this knowledge enables them to navigate friendships, romantic relationships, and professional interactions confidently and clearly. Can you think of anything more important than helping them connect solidly? With so many people getting caught in IPV (Intimate Partner Violence), I am hard-pressed to think of anything that ranks higher. Parents can emphasize three key concepts supported by practical examples to guide these vital discussions.

1. Model Healthy Communication

Communication is the foundation of every healthy relationship; children learn a lot by observing how their parents interact with others. It’s essential to model respectful, honest, and empathetic communication at home. When parents openly discuss their feelings, needs, and boundaries constructively, children learn this is the norm in healthy relationships. NOTE: You don’t need a perfect home to do this. Reality is the best teacher, and most homes are unlike Disney sitcoms.

Example: Imagine a parent and child planning a weekend activity. The parent says, “I know we planned to go hiking, but I’m tired today. Can we do something less active?” This simple act of expressing needs and negotiating shows the child that it’s okay to voice their feelings. A healthy relationship involves mutual respect and flexibility.

The opposite is true, too! If a child observes one parent consistently dominating conversations or disregarding the other parent’s input, they internalize that this is normal behavior in relationships. Parents can redeem these moments by explaining that healthy relationships involve balance and consideration for each other’s feelings and opinions. This will empower parents and children to develop these skills intentionally.

2. Inviting Self-Respect And Boundaries

Teaching children to recognize their worth and set boundaries is critical in helping them find healthy versus unhealthy relationships. As parents, we are the first relationship teachers they will have. We can encourage our children to understand they have the right to feel safe, respected, and valued in any relationship. They need to be clear that accepting less is not good. Encouraging them to listen to their inner voice and assert their boundaries is critical.

Example: A child comes home upset because a friend constantly teases them about something they’re sensitive about. A parent can guide the child through setting boundaries by suggesting, “Next time your friend makes that comment, try saying, ‘I don’t like it when you joke about that. Please stop.'” This empowers the child to stand up for themselves and establishes that respecting boundaries is a non-negotiable part of any healthy relationship.

Parents can also discuss the importance of respecting others’ boundaries. If a friend says “no” to something, it’s essential to consider and respond to their requests. This mutual respect for boundaries fosters healthy interactions and helps children recognize when someone is overstepping or disrespecting their limits. Here is an article about how to teach your children how to handle bullies—and NOT be one!

3. Discuss Red Flags and Unhealthy Behaviors

Highlighting positive relationship traits is essential, but parents should also educate their children about recognizing red flags and unhealthy behaviors. These can include coercive control, manipulation, disrespect, and emotional or physical abuse. Understanding these signs can help prevent children from getting involved in harmful relationships and set the stage for healthier future relationships.

EXAMPLE: A parent can discuss scenarios with their child, such as, “If someone always wants to know where you are and gets angry when you don’t respond at once, that’s not a sign of love—it’s a sign of control. In a healthy relationship, both people trust and give each other space.” Clear examples of red flags can help children identify when something feels off in their interactions.

Parents should also encourage open dialogue about their child’s relationships. Questions like, “How do you feel when you’re around this person?” or “Do they make you feel good about yourself?” can prompt reflection and help the child evaluate whether their relationships are healthy.

Parents can empower their children to develop and maintain healthy relationships by modeling healthy communication, encouraging self-respect and boundaries, and discussing red flags. These conversations are game changers for helping children navigate their social world confidently and enabling them to recognize signs of both healthy and potentially harmful relationships. 

Engaging in consistent, open dialogue gives our children the tools to cultivate positive and respectful relationships. They can confidently recognize both the signs of a healthy relationship and the warning signals of one that can be harmful. Through consistent, open dialogue, parents can equip their children with the tool box they need to foster positive and respectful relationships throughout their lives. Empowering children with key concepts for healthy connections is just the start! We are on a journey and it’s just beginning!

Together, we can teach them to Love Well or Not at All.

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Love Well,

Kimie