We all want to avoid dark hearts, people who prey on vulnerable souls. The issue is that people need to learn how to swerve around them. Questions that protect the heart will cost you little and bring huge benefits. They may spare your heart. Learning the practice may be a life changer for you.

Questions That Reveal The Truth

Look closely at how questions can potently disarm the dark heart (aka Abuser). First, when you start a new relationship, a healthy heart will receive questions as an opportunity to know each other better. The dark heart will see questions as a challenge.  Asking questions will help you navigate the process of knowing what kind of person you are dealing with. 

We can’t remove the risk of meeting abusive types. But we can learn survival tactics to keep ourselves from putting our hearts in harm’s way in the first place. Learning how to spare hearts is the best way to pass healthy Love and relationships to the next generation. Most of us agree few such efforts were made for our hearts, so let’s do better!

The first thing we need to do is acknowledge most of us operate on the assumption that people are truthful. Sadly, we must suspend that practice when starting new relationships. Asking penetrating questions will help us find the 10% of people we meet who use answers as tethers. They learn what you need to hear and then deliver them as dreams on a silver platter.

Questions That Unpeel The Motives

The next thing we need to do is curate questions. Questions put the power back into your hands to protect your heart from Love that isn’t Loving. We ask questions that create a sweeping idea of their sort and long-term relationships. This is crucial because it will reveal patterns. Does it seem they have only crazy exes? Are they the black sheep of the family? Is work in a war zone, and there are no good people to be found? Listen to the reasons and the state of affairs, but that is not enough! Anyone can paint a picture, but a dark heart won’t be quick to reveal the toxic relationships they have.

The questions that protect hearts are powerful because they give us something to compare to reality. A healthy heart will have a mix of healthy and toxic relationships in the past. There should also be evidence of good connections when you meet family, friends, co-workers, etc. Hence, be alert for signals; people you thought knew them well but seem to be surface at best. Look for strange responses and the faces of people in the circle you are meeting. You might be surprised that many people will try to tip you off if they suspect a toxic person. Here are a few ways you can help tip someone off and help friends in a toxic relationship.

Making the Dark Heart Work

Some simple questions would include:

• “Tell me about your family; how do you all get along?”
• “Do you get together often, go on trips, or celebrate holidays? “
• “Is your workplace enjoyable? Do you like your boss?”
• “Tell me about your childhood friends. How often do you see old friends?”
• “Not to dig too deep, but have you had good experiences dating?”

Questions for the experienced dark heart are like hurdles on a race track. They see them as challenges to jump over. You may even see the giddiness when they are weaving you into the dream state. You are left wondering how you could have found the perfect person! Look for this: if it’s falling into place too easily and it appears they are painting a vision board you think you created, this is where the hair on your neck should be lifted, not your guard dropped. Questions that protect the heart include some that reveal where you have differences! That leaves room to see how much room there is for compromise and flexibility.

Protecting Hearts Is Time-Sensitive

Remember, if someone continues to have problems in every area of life- they may very well be the problem. If you wait too long to see the truth, you risk letting confirmation bias take over. Once overwhelmed by an abuser, it’s hard to admit the truth, even if it’s screaming your name.

Let your gut guide you in this process. Innocent questions are uncomfortable for the dark heart. They are challenges to win and truths to dodge to avoid raising doubts. When most people encounter future faking and love bombing, they soak in the pure wonder of it all. Questions are a roadblock to that mistake. If you are committed to protecting your heart, surprise abusers by seeking more than the image they are projecting. Look for discomfort and pursue chances to meet as many people as possible who have relationships with this person.

Never forget one common behavior amongst abusive people is isolating victims. If they seem to want to pull the world tight and paint it as you against the world, that is a big problem. When you ask questions and seek confirmation, you make the job harder and the facade more difficult to pull off.

Traits To Watch For

Truth is, dark hearts are effective. They pull off many brutal acts before you realize what you are experiencing. But thankfully, they are not very creative or original. They use the same ones, and questions that protect the heart will unearth the truth.

-toxic or dysfunctional relationships in all aspects of life

-weak bonds with family

-a long list of toxic exes(always there problem)

-Series of broken peer groups

It is often 12-16 months before you see the mask slip on dark hearts. Unexperienced manipulators may self-reveal faster. Time is your friend. Too many have ushed to commit only to find a stranger was beneath the perfect answers and calculated Love. 

Healing Hearts By Paying Attention

If you have someone in your life who has encountered a dark heart, there are some ways to support them. Most importantly, we must ensure we don’t cause a second wounding. I put this together to help make the situation easier to navigate.

Time reveals what words conceal. Ask questions, watch, and wait. Your life, your heart, and your family are worth the investment. 

Join Our Community as We Spare Hearts. We can’t make a dent without you! You will find our links in the bio! 

Let’s Love Well or Not at All!