Four Simple Steps To A Safer Life
Teaching children to choose empowers them to make choices that will one day protect their hearts and bodies and give them healthy lives. Teaching children to set healthy boundaries will fuel every other decision.
Healthy Boundaries save lives in more ways than one.
We can make a difference in the abuse statistics one life at a time. We have all heard that self-love is the key; it is A key, but if it were THE key, the numbers would be better now. 1/4 women, 1/6 men experience IPV(Intimate Partner Violence).
What can we do? Let’s start with a simple 4-point plan! Please pass it on to anyone who has children who deserve a safer path than you had!
Five Ways To Teach Healthy Boundaries To Children:
- Model Healthy Boundaries—Children can understand when we need a break, when we need kindness, etc. Lovingly teach them how to set and enforce boundaries in all our lives. Examples can be as simple as when we take phone calls, how we will let them or anyone speak to us, and what we need to be peaceful and well.
- Teach children their physical boundaries—they decide who hugs/kisses them and when. Show them that taking a few steps away from others isn’t always rejection; sometimes, it’s just taking a break to breathe! Give children autonomy and control over access wherever possible. Teaching children to set healthy physical boundaries early will make it easier for them to enforce later.
- Allow children to experience feelings so they can begin the lifelong journey of understanding their roots. Empower them to set boundaries with people they are not comfortable with. There will be exceptions—doctors (with you there) and so on. These are exceptions, not the rule.
- Boundary setting involves choosing what is best for us. Empower children to get comfortable with making choices and enjoy the selection process! A great example is choosing ice cream! Start with picking from three, then as they get more comfortable, add more until they can absorb the whole list and decide. Practice makes perfect, but give them time in the beginning—it’s not as easy when you are starting!
- Try role-playing situations with your little ones. I used to drive by in a car and practice all the tactics: candy, dogs, illness, and emergencies. Ask a friend to help! You will see the wheels turning as they weigh safety, helping others, etc. But the truth is, abusers use all the tactics. When we start young, they have a better shot at seeing the tactics before they get into psychological warfare. Teaching children to set healthy boundaries with us in play will make it a natural reaction to do with other adults in the future and one day with a partner.
We can prepare hearts and give them a head start! Boundaries and choices are the best weapons we have to prevent the unthinkable. Survivors have sacrificed much to give us this wisdom; let’s not let it lie on the shelf!
I hope this finds you well and hopeful! My life has been set on a bit of a treadmill, taking on a couple of jobs and working on a few projects in the garden! My tomatoes are taking over EVERYTHING! Lol, but the salads are good! Busy as it gets, this community never seems far away!
Let’s Love Well or Not at All!
Kimie
If you want more help in this area, please check out this article on how to raise children who can recognize abuse and abusers.