A Practical Guide To Gaslighting & How To Put It Out

In the complex world of psychological manipulation, gaslighting is a masterful yet insidious tool. It is a form of emotional abuse that inflicts profound damage on its victims, leaving lasting scars. Gaslighting is covert; it distorts reality and undermines one’s sense of self. Undoubtedly, gaslighting effects, though often subtle, are far-reaching and detrimental. Let’s begin by understanding how gaslighting affects you so you can extinguish it.

Identifying Gaslighting By Its Damage

Gaslighting erodes self-confidence and esteem by constantly invalidating your experiences, emotions, and perceptions; the gaslighter instills self-doubt. Over time, you may question your reality, feeling uncertain about your thoughts and feelings. The harsh truth is that you start to lose your grip on what is true.

You begin to wonder what is wrong with you because you get so much wrong. As a result, you are left reeling in your incompetence. Ultimately, the erosion of self-trust leaves you vulnerable and insecure, unable to discern truth from manipulation. When you know something is wrong, you often feel too weak to make any substantial changes.

Gaslighting Creates Toxic Dependency

Through manipulation and control, the gaslighter positions themselves as the sole author of reality. Gradually, you look to them for what is true and what you can accomplish or even think. Your judgment is destroyed, and so is your trust in what comes next and your ability to handle it. Dependency perpetuates the cycle of abuse. It traps individuals in a toxic dynamic where your sense of freedom and even your sense of self is eroded.

Truth Gets Lost

Gaslighting distorts your perceptions of truth and reality; Understanding gaslighting restores it. A constant shifting of the narrative, facts, and history further destroys your confidence. Additionally, the gaslighter blurs the lines between reality and fiction. They may not outright change the truth but continually feed so much doubt that it isn’t knowable. Victims find themselves caught in a web of deception, unable to trust their memories and experiences. This confusion breeds feelings of disorientation and alienation, further isolating us from our support networks. We rarely reach out when we are confused about our sanity. Remember, we believed this person was our soul mate, our perfect match. Love bombing is just the appetizer. A heart broken by the one who promised to Love them is the most broken of all, not to mention confused.

Counting The Cost Of Gaslighting

Ultimately, gaslighting can lead to deep psychological trauma and long-term emotional distress. Constant manipulation and invalidation take a toll on mental health, leading to anxiety, depression, and even post-traumatic stress disorder. The cumulative effects of gaslighting can be debilitating. It can leave us struggling to rebuild a shattered sense of self, that is, if we are lucky enough to extricate ourselves.

By understanding what is toxic and how to respond earlier, we can learn to be more proactive than reactive! Here is an article that will give you specific questions to ask while getting to know someone. These will help you know when to proceed with caution. Prevention is worth a whole lot of cures.

Let’s understand gaslighting so well we know when to dress like a firefighter and walk through the flames!

Three Ways To Stop Gaslighting

• Understanding Gaslighting: Here, we have started getting a real-world understanding of what gaslighting is and how it affects us. Continue the learning with good articles and resources available online. Learn the basic questions- do they shuffle facts and question your assessment of reality? Do they manipulate your confidence and self-worth? If you find you are too deep to claw your way out, consider getting a good therapist. Not every therapist has training in narcissistic tactics. Don’t hesitate to ask if they specialize in how to deal with these traits or even NPD(Narcissistic Personality Disorder).
• Knowing What You Know: Keep track of facts, perceptions, and truth. Use a journal when reality gets foggy. Keep it up to date so you can reach it when it is tested. Don’t let anyone make you question what you know to be true. Invite people you trust to be a safe place, and when they tell you something is messed up, believe them! (confirm it matches your journal and knowledge). Keep calm. When we lose our cool, we are prone to do things we are not proud of. Consequently, this gives the gaslighter fuel. When pushed too far, you may make mistakes. Give yourself the same grace you would give someone else. Your confidence is a wall against toxic people; don’t let anyone tear it down.
• Building Walls: Once you know, you go. If you can’t wholly extricate yourself, build walls. Keep a firm boundary of what topics you will cover and how much time you will be around gaslighters. Regularly lean on the people you trust to be a sounding board. Simultaneously, when you must engage, you will have your journal, documentation, and a rebuilt sense of confidence. Your ability to care for your mental well-being is primary if you are to thrive. You cannot be a support for people you love. It’s not selfish to limit contact and guard your heart. Here is an excellent resource to get you started!

Putting The Fire Out

Understanding gaslighting is the first step to dousing it! We soak that knowledge with truth, support, and confidence. Gaslighting leaves scars, but it can’t prevent us from healing. We can recover, and we will never unsee the toxic behavior that shrinks so many wonderful people. The power is in understanding and responding, and we are getting better every day!

Join Us In The War Against Abuse

Join WorththeWar as we spare hearts by protecting hearts! We gratefully gather the wisdom of survivors to prevent IPV(Intimate Partner Violence). Please follow us and join our community on Instagram! Together, we can do better for the hearts who will follow us!

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